How it started

It was a Sunday afternoon. My phone was locked and face down on the couch, and my two-year-old was playing next to it, chattering away to himself. I was in the kitchen.

An hour later I picked it up and saw a string of sent messages. To my sister: “Truck truck big truck.” To my mother: “Mama juice.” And to my manager, at 3:12 p.m. on a Sunday: “Banana poopy MAMA MAMA truck.”

I stared at the screen, then laughed until I cried, then panicked a little. How had he done it? It turns out a long press on the side button summoned the voice assistant, even on the lock screen, and it happily took dictation and sent messages to recent contacts.

I texted my manager an apology. She replied with a laughing emoji and a photo of her own kid. But it made me realize my locked phone wasn’t as locked as I thought.

Not medical or clinical advice: I’m a parent of two toddlers sharing what helped at home, not a pediatrician, therapist, or child-development expert. Every family’s screen and media rules look different, and there’s no single right answer. If you have questions about your child’s screen use, sleep, or development, please talk to your pediatrician.

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What I think was going on

My son wasn’t trying to use the phone. He’d seen me talk to it, and holding the button and chattering was just imitation. The phone, meanwhile, was designed to be helpful when locked. Those two things combined into some memorable messages.

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What helped us

1. Check lock-screen voice settings

I went into settings and turned off voice assistant access when the phone is locked.

What I say: “Mama’s fixing the phone so it only listens to grown-ups.”

2. Keep the phone out of reach

My phone now lives on a high shelf or in my pocket at home.

What I say: “My phone lives up here. It’s a grown-up tool.”

3. Give him a pretend phone

An old toy phone or a block “phone” let him chatter all he wanted.

What I say: “Here’s your phone. Who are you calling?”

4. Play real phone calls together

Sometimes we call Grandma together on speaker so he gets to talk to someone real.

What I say: “Want to say hi to Grandma? I’ll hold the phone.”

5. Send a quick heads-up

If messages go out, a short apology with humor goes a long way.

What I say: “Sorry! My toddler found voice-to-text.”

6. Talk about why

I explained simply, without making him feel bad.

What I say: “The phone sent your words to people. Let’s keep it for grown-ups.”

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Honest limits

Phones vary a lot in what they allow on the lock screen, so check your device’s own settings and help pages rather than assuming. I still find his fingerprints on my phone sometimes. This was a funny moment, not a crisis, but if you’re worried about how much your toddler is drawn to screens, a chat with your pediatrician is a reasonable step.

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From one tired parent to another

If your toddler has ever texted your boss, welcome to the club. Check the lock-screen settings, give them a pretend phone, and send a quick apology. Your coworkers with kids will understand, and the rest will have a good story.